As I began preparing my column this week, I was interrupted by the flying book as it fell from my grasp. Opening it frantically to find again my spot of inspiration, a little slip of paper caught my eye. It was in my own handwriting and it said simply: "For Kristin." I had marked the page long ago, obviously, for Kristin. However, as I read in the book: "Streams in the Desert," I realized, it was now: "For Kim."
FB Meyer wrote: "When you are doubtful as to your course, submit your judgment absolutely to the Spirit of God, and ask Him to shut against you every door but the right one ... Meanwhile keep on as you are, and consider the absence of indication to be the indication of God's will that you are on His track ... As you go down the long corridor, you will find that He has preceded you, and locked many doors which you would fain have entered; but be sure that beyond these there is one which He has left unlocked. Open it and enter, and you will find yourself face-to-face with a bend of the river of opportunity, broader and deeper than anything you had dared to imagine in your sunniest dreams. Launch forth upon it, it conducts to the open sea.
"God guides us, often by circumstances. At one moment the way may seem utterly blocked; and then shortly afterward some trivial incident occurs, which might not seem much to others, but which to the keep eye of faith speaks volumes. Sometimes these things are repeated in various ways, in answer to prayer. They are not haphazard results of chance, but the opening up of circumstances in the direction in which we would walk. And they begin to multiply as we advance toward our goal, just as the lights do as we near a populous town, when darting through the land by night."
Sometimes, and truly, most of the time, life is a faith-walk. It is trusting when we want to doubt. Faith is, the Bible says: "The substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1.
A man names H. Bushnell said: "If you go to Him to be guided, He will guide you; but He will not comfort your distrust or half-trust of Him by showing you the chart of all His purposes concerning you. He will show you only into a way where, if you go cheerfully and trustfully forward, He will show you on still farther."
It is a blessing to our family to have Jamie's daughter, Sarah, and baby boy with us. The baby is 22 months old and full of life - something our home was in need of, as you can imagine. I cleaned out Kristin's desk in her room prior to their coming. I did not want the baby to get hold of a pencil or something sharp, as you know how babies are curious. As I was playing ball outside with him last evening, Sarah called to me. I ran to the window and she recounted what happened: Opening the top desk drawer, a card, like a business card was there, by itself. I had seen it in years gone by, but had intentionally dumped every single drawer into a box and thought I had left each completely empty. I had her read it to me, as my "granny glasses" were in the house, and my arms are no longer " long enough," to read anything without them. She read: "If you have FAITH the grain of a mustard seed, anything is possible to you." It is a colorful card with only that saying/verse. Chills ran up and down, and tears formed in my eyes. I needed that, but it was especially special to her at this juncture in her life. She placed it up on the mirror as a reminder.
Faith is not a feeling, my friend. Faith is going without knowing sometimes. Yet, at other times, it is staying the course, when every ounce of your being wants to go. Faith is standing upon the Word of God and it alone. I remember in the business office at my Bible college, there was a sign that read: "Where God Guides, He Provides." It was a gentle reminder to us, the poor college students, that if God had called us to it, He would see us through it. I remember His provision during that faith stretching time in my life well. As it turned out, I would need that faith He built in those days over the next few decades to recall the times of His faithfulness, to encourage me in times of struggle, heartache and grief.
This week, our grandbaby gave me a life lesson and almost stopped my heart. They are good at that, aren't they? I was alone in the house with him and he was eating a popsicle. I was washing dishes and chatting with him. I turned my head and did not see him. I raced through the house, yelling his name and running as fast as my grandma legs would carry me. Total silence - a weird thing with an almost 2-year-old in the house. My heart pounded as I envisioned everything imaginable. As I re-entered the kitchen, there he sat on the bench by the snack bar swingin' his little legs and eating his popsicle, and looking at me, like, "What's wrong with you, Grammy?" I think sometimes, that's the way we are with God. He hasn't left nor deserted us. But, we, being human, run to and fro screaming, "Where are you, God?" All the while He is there, waiting contentedly for us to just "see" Him and enjoy His presence.
"Have Faith in God." Mark 11:22
(Kimberly Morgan, MA, is a wife and homeschool mom in Elkins. She also is a counselor at Cornerstone Christian Counseling. Contact her at 304-637-1109.)